A smooth ride till its not....

              So the year 2014 started out like any other, we make promises to change for the better in a number of ways and always made with the best intentions.  We will finally loose that last 10 pounds, exercise every day, organize our homes/lives so that we will be on time and clutter free.  This year was no different, the month of January came and went, it was cold there was snow here in North West Arkansas.  The kids loved it, the parents did to, till they started miss many days of school, then we prayed for sunshine and above freezing temperatures.  Things started out cold in February and then gradually became warmer and warmer towards the end of the month. The end of the month.  that is when life changed for our little family.  The last week of the month Brad came home early that afternoon.  I can't really remember why, but he was home and I was tired I think I had stayed up with the baby girl the night before.  She didn't sleep through the night, maybe she was unsettled because she knew the next day would bring chaos.  The kids had just gotten home from school and I told Brad I really needed to lay down for 20 mins. it was all I needed to gear up for the rest of the evening.  I had just laid down and was trying to relax when my phone rang. I almost didn't answer it, I rolled over and saw my brothers name flashing on the display.  He lives in Tennessee so we don't see each other much.  I accepted the call and in a tired voice said hello, his response was shaky and he explained to me that he had very little details, but that our dad had had a heart attack.  Boom there it was, the trajectory of that day derailed with one sentence. I sat up fast in my bed and asked, what he meant?  Was Dad alive? At the Er? Where was Mom?  About a million question ran through my head and half came out of my mouth, he could only say "I don't know." He was packing the car and heading to the hospital to see them both, he lived an hour and 20 mins. away, he said I could try to call Mom but he would call me when he got to the hospital.  I jumped out of the bed and ran to a startled looking husband sitting on the couch.  I told him what happened and he grabbed my hand to steady me while listening to my brother.  We hung up and I didn't want the kids to know anything till I knew something concrete so I ran to back to my bedroom.  Brad came in and put his arm around me and I wept.
                 I cried for a bit then got a hold of myself and called my mom, she said that she knew very little as well.  That she had been inside the house and he had gone outside to do yard work and all of the sudden a stranger knocked on the door and he told her to come quickly that her husband had, had a heart attack.  In socks she ran across the yard to see two fire fighters giving him CPR, one calling an ambulance and them both attending to my dad on the ground.  They got him to the hospital, and immediately doctors and surgeons worked on him; my mom was waiting there for information with my Aunt Ann and Uncle Bob.  More family would be there before to long, its what happens when you come from a large family like my mother.  My Sister far away in Nevada was driving to Las Vegas for a weekend trip with friends.  I called my Uncle Pete and let him have the news, it was so gut wrenching to tell him, he is my Dad's only sibling.   Things move at quick pace in a crisis but also super slow at the same time.  Its weird how it happens, all of the sudden I needed to pack and figure out how to get there, but they weren't sure if he was going to make it through the night so they wanted me to wait till the morning to start the long drive to Tennessee.  We didn't know if we were taking the whole family to a funeral or just me and the baby to help with recovery.  Our own family was about to renovate our kitchen with new counter-tops 2 day later.  So many decisions were to be made but lucky for us, we have lots of people in our corner to make things happen quickly.  My Dad did make it through the night, I was able to send the boys to school and take Jillian with me.  It was a miracle the kind of drive we had, Jillian never cried once for me and we stopped only once to get gas, we pulled into Cookeville hospital that evening. My mother and brother were both in the ICU waiting room, they looked terrible.  Puffy red eyes, tired circles, pale and slow moving.  The hours at the ICU are very strict in the heart wing.  Only a few hours at a time, a few people at a time, and no children.  They let me go back and see him soon after I arrived Mom stayed with Jillian while Andrew and I walked back to look at him.  He was laying there with lots of  tubes and IV's everywhere.  His eyes would flutter open every once and a while but he was mainly still.  It was hard to see, so to distract I would ask lots of questions.  What do all of these machines mean?  What does this one or that one do?  Which ones will he be taken off of first?  What does he have to be able to do to get this or that one off?  The nurses there were excellent, they could answer each one confidently.  They were honest about how sick he was and how his heart had stopped for a time, so after shocking him back there could be side affects.  They also said that making it through the night was a positive thing to, they honestly didn't know if that was going to happen.  Every hour was milestone at this point, they could drop down the doses of meds by just only little tick at a time. It was indeed a waiting game at this point.
                 That night I made my mom go home and sleep in her bed, she had stayed at the waiting room the night before on a small uncomfortable couch.  My brother and her both needed sleep, and rest to make it through the next coming days.  My Uncle would come in from Maryland that next day with his girl friend Wendy.  The next day he was more responsive, we asked him to blink if he could hear us and he did, which made us so happy.  We asked him to squeeze our hands if he could understand us, he did that as well.  We kept explaining what happened because we knew each time he "woke up" he didn't know where he was, or why he couldn't move.  I can't imagine what his perspective was, but I could only think that it would be terrifying not knowing where you were or what was going on.  After two days of being there Sunday night he seemed really more awake, the nurses said he isn't going to remember any of it but we kept talking to him and holding his hand.  It was the only thing we could touch, was his hand.  My Uncle had to leave and go back to work, and so did my brother so I stayed with my mom all week long.  My sister was preparing to fly in to help once I headed back home to my family.  We knew he'd be in ICU for at least a week and then the regular hospital room for 5 days as well.
            Five days after the heart attack he was much more wide awake and wanting that tube out of his mouth, we could tell he was grabbing at it, so the nurses had to tighten the restraints that they had placed on his arms.  It didn't work.  Right after he had seen my mom, and it was time for her to leave she told the nurse  "He is trying to get at that tube."  She said she would go and check on his arms again.  But before she could he pulled it out!  Every alarm went off and they rushed into help him out.  We knew then my Dad was definitely back.  I don't blame him, I would have probably done the same thing.  We just wanted to make sure his lungs were ready for him to breathe all on his own.
                   We were so excited to call my brother and sister and tell them that he would be able to talk and that he was making so much progress.  Andrew came back to see him and my sister was excited to know that he would be in a better place when she arrived.  We quickly learned that he had memory loss.  My brother came to see him and the next day he couldn't remember it, He couldn't remember the yard work or the fire that occurred and how he had help putting it out for the kindness of a stranger who just happen to be driving by and stopped to help.  We decided not to dwell on it and ask him what he could remember because he was getting frustrated every time he had to say no I don't remember this or that. We worked on resting, getting enough energy to stand up and walk to the doorway.  We could not believe that he was progressing so much in the coming days.  My sister came into town and she brought new energy and joy all three of us kids were able to see him which it had been a long time since we were all together.  They moved him to a different room that was in a less strict part of the hospital, he could have visitors all day but still no children but he could wheel out to the waiting room to see Jillian.  That made him smile, and Jillian learned that he had gotten sick but that the Doctors were making him better.  I left on that Monday to head back home to Brad and my boys.  Brad had gotten very sick himself (the flu and strep throat at the same time!) and was just counting down the minutes for me to get back.  He was to be in bed and let the meds that the Doctor had given him take affect.
               My Sister stayed that week and he was released from the hospital to a therapy clinic that helped him relearn to use all his facilities on his own.  After a few days my mom could come pick him up and take him home.  The road was still going to be long but we now know that he was mending and going to make it.  We learned how quickly things can change and how it changes our perspective.  We learned how family can work together when things get rough and that we are a team each pitching in and helping.  We learned about love and how much we have for our Dad and each other.  Love ya Dad!